The Un-god of Fate
A destiny defying, football kicking, mafia meddling, alien invading, wetting-self with laughter, fantasy adventure story!
For Adults and Children of 10 years +
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From the age of eight Charlie Bluster was cursed with glimpses of the future that kept him up far past his bedtime. His visions allowed him to see the results of epic soccer matches, alien invasions of the Earth and even the number of lumps in next Thursday’s porridge!
The gods of fate want Charlie stopped while the Mafia and other Evil People with Bad Haircuts want to exploit him for ill-gotten gains!
Read this exciting and funny new fantasy story of destiny, un-gods, and erupting volcanoes, for adults and children of 10 years and up.
Zeus’ drink was taking longer than normal to come, he peered over and saw that the milk frother had stopped working. He took a quick look around and as the coast was clear pointed a finger at the machine and hurled a miniature bolt of lightning at it. The frother spluttered back into life and spewed milk all over the barista.
This was Strictly Against the Rules, but he couldn’t risk some minor little upset blowing out of proportion and causing Jeff to go out of business. Zeus had been around a long time and he was certain that Jeff made the best hot chocolate in this Plane of Reality.
Read the first 2 chapters for free on Amazon using Look Inside.
Welcome to The Tragedy of Charlie Bluster and the Un-god of Fate!
At the very start of the story, we meet Charlie Bluster, a super arch-villain known and feared across the entire universe!
But how does a lovable small boy with a runny nose, an interest in comic books and a group of wonderful friends turn into every superhero's worst nightmare that will cause them to go running for the toilet in terror?
Maybe its because Charlie has a secret, a superpower, and lots of bad people like the Mafia want to use him for their own Evil Purposes such as Teasing their Little Sisters or Nicking Flipping Great Wadges of Cash!
Keep reading for more snippets from the story, a special section on the Olympian gods (at Jeff's Coffee Emporium) and some minutes from the Mafia weekly meeting.
You'll find lots more in the book itself including the greatest soccer match ever played and alien invasions of the earth!
Who can read Charlie Bluster?
Charlie Bluster was written for a 10-year-old boy called Harry to keep him amused on the way back home from holiday. Although there are some big words it may also appeal to younger children from the age of 8 up. Charlie Bluster is an exciting fantasy story but also funny and contains many jokes that big children (adults) will find enjoyable.
However, Mr Crabbe’s new Porsche was even faster. It roared out of the norphanage and sped up the road in hot pursuit and it wasn’t long before they were closing in on the Mafia. Mr Dirty Brown opened the back window of the Limo and leaned out. He drew his gun and opened fire on Mr Crabbe. Crabby was driving like the entire Chicago police force as well as a popular country and western band were on his tail. He waved and juked around the road avoiding the bullets.
If you like Roald Dahl, Terry Pratchett or a funny Harry Potter then Charlie Bluster could be for you. Why not read the first chapter online for free to see for yourself.
Here are some of the characters you can find hanging out at Jeff's Coffee Emporium and their favourite drinks:
HOT CHOCOLATE - Zeus, chief of the gods
The door opened again and a weird looking old man in a brown robe entered. Just like Santa, he sported a huge white beard, but you could also clearly see a massive set of muscles bulging out from under the robe. It wasn’t the Rock’s favourite granddad, it was in fact Zeus, the chief of the gods!
Zeus drinks hot chocolate (extra cream) which comes with enough marshmallows to build a small house. Being chief of the gods he has been around a long time and is certain that Jeff makes the best hot chocolate in this Plane of Reality and certainly, no one else served two complimentary chocolates with their hot drinks.
QUADRUPLE ESPRESSO - Hercules, god of exercise
Hercules breezed into Jeff's and strode confidently towards Malcolm's table only stopping briefly to pose and show off for a couple of girls. He was kitted out in a training vest, tracksuit trousers and an expensive pair of basketball shoes. Sunglasses and a sweatband completed the picture. The skimpy vest allowed him to show off his impressive musculature, something he did every chance he got.
Hercules drinks a quadruple espresso which is a black coffee with enough shots to bring down a bull elephant. The quadruple espresso is extremely strong, just like Hercules.
FRAPPA-LATTA-JEFFATINO - Malcolm, god of fate
Malcolm was taking a well-earned break over at Jeffs Coffee Emporium in Portsmouth In order to improve his own image, he’d ditched the standard brown robe and replaced it with a pair of blue jeans, a hard-rock café t-shirt (Hard-Rock Pluto Base 2091) and a black leather motorcycle jacket that he’d nicked from Elvis. He’d also changed his name, got a new even meaner haircut, and always wore a pair of sunglasses even in the house and even at night-time!
Malcolm drinks the Frappa-Latta-Jeffatino which is Jeff's personal invention and his signature drink. It has more fresh cream than most deserts, just about every flavouring you can think of and is supplied with a spoon that is actually made from chocolate.
At the Mafia weekly club meeting, everyone uses code names to maintain secrecy
“How are we on blackmail this week?" asked Mr Burnt Orange.
Mr Sausage Brown stood up.
“I’m very pleased to report that we’ve had our best performance this year. This week we’ve blackmailed the Prime Minister into fiddling his tax return!”
There was a murmur of excited voices.
“Hush everyone, please continue Mr Sausage Brown, this sounds excellent indeed but how did you manage it?”
“Well sir, we managed to get a photo of him sitting on the toilet and we threatened to print out a giant copy and stick it onto the side of the Houses of Parliament.”
There was a cheer followed by a round of applause, this was great news.
“Congratulations Mr Sausage Brown, this is incredible news and I think that we can all agree that you are this week’s winner.”
There was another cheer. Mr Sausage Brown went a slightly Undercooked Sausage Pink colour and went up to the front to collect the trophy for the best Act of Evilness.
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